It's just weird...

Not too long ago, this conversation transpired between me and my gf.

GF: Hey look! (reads the back of a perfume bottle) No wonder smell so fruity, so many fruits in there for ingredients..

Me: (took a look at the bottle) huh?

GF: See, got grapefruit and ......... ok... just grapefruit.

Me: (shakes my head, but not surprised at the reaction) Ok, so ya, it's too fruity for me.. let's look at something else.


I was just thinking, assumptions of this nature happens almost every other minute. Maybe it's just human nature to blurt out words with the least minimal information sent to their heads. It's just a slip.

So there I was thinking, why is it that when friends say things which obviously don't make sense or they don't mean, we let it go and laugh it off? But why can't we react the same to the men we like? Because they are "supposed" to be treating us nicer than our friends? So if that's the case, why are we not treating them better than our friends, forgiving them for these slightest of the slightest mistakes and slips, instead of throwing a tantrum that's bigger than the issue itself?

Question: Why can't we let go of slips that our men made, when we can do so to our friends? So do our friends matter more, or our men?



PS:I know this entry doesn't make much sense to many, so unless you can fully understand it, don't ask me about it. Because I know exactly what I am writing about.

URBAN DEPRESSION!!!!

I spent a couple of hours having supper with Jun yesterday at HK cafe. It was meant to be our dinner, but it sucks.

So there we are, ranting about the usual. Going through the list of where we should be jetting off to, going for our long awaited holiday. You see, the only time it materialized was the US trip, beat that. So after a very depressive conversation of an hour of how our life sucks, how we are so stuck, like rut in the muck, I decided to coin this state of mind, URBAN DEPRESSION.


Urban Depression
expression
severe despondency, insomnia, arising from stress from work, concrete buildings, lack of excitement or adrenaline rushes. Nothing excites both the mind and body. Incurable, unless one plucks oneself from the current state of living into another.

So Bel decided that she also has this incurable disease, and while we were happily discussing how we should see a shrink together, we fell into deeper depression. We doubt we have the financial ability to see a shrink on a regular basis! HAHA! And of course, she also has this whimsical fantasy that if her future employer finds out she is seeing a shrink, she might not be considered for the job. Beat that. Introducing my bimbo friend, BEL. Good grief.


So after that thought, I ranted to Rin and Bel for like a full 15 mins, refusing to let them go, as no one else can possibly understand or rather, no one around me will be suitable candidates to listen to my urban sob stories, about love and work, and definitely not to mention love and work mixed into one. Phew... I felt so much better after that release of pent up frustrations.

I rebelled at work today, tried my best. Imagine stepping into the office, and in 15 mins, I was swamped! Literally! Everything started piling up on my desk, apparently everything that was supposed to be done when I was away, was left undone! So at the end of the day, I couldn't be bothered. I left to walk across the street to get a long overdue hair trim, got my long overdue lenses. If it cannot be done, SO BE IT!
HA!

After all that, I stuck my ass in my other office, where the other half of my colleagues are seated. Talked crap, made lame jokes, just whiling time away...and it was surprisingly therapeutic. Unknowingly, I felt alot better, and I definitely did not see that coming. But yay yay yay!!!!!!!!

So maybe there are ways to slowly cure Urban Depression, you just have to find your own.

Up and Coming New Toy!!!

I am bored of life. That's about usual. So I have decided, once too many times, again... to get myself a new toy. Tsk Tsk... nono.. not a man.... haha... it's a new phone!!!!

Ok.. but this phone has not arrived yet... so it's UPCOMING. So when will it be UP and COMING into my life??????? Not that I am particularly in love with this phone, but it satisfies my lack of thrill and excitement at this particular point in time.

Sheesh... as I type along, a realization dawned on me. This has been the exact way I feel about men in my life. I don't particularly ultra like them, although somehow or another I make it appear so, and make the men think so, but more often than not, it's the boredom that is the driving force behind the emotions, and actions.

Question: When have I really liked something or someone so much casting aside the search of excitement?


Nonetheless, here's the new toy....

Say No.

Why do we feel obliged? Are there really things we are supposed to be doing that we are conveniently trying to shirk that responsibility? But if that is the case, obligation will never come into the picture, because feeling obliged somehow hints a tinge of repulsion and compulsory attitude.


Simply, WE FEEL OBLIGED BECAUSE WE DON'T KNOW HOW TO SAY NO.

Mood Swings

Not in depression, but my actions reflects the behaviour of MY perfect typical "irritating girl". Now, that's me at the moment. I hate myself. Alright, I hate myself and the way I am living my life. It's meaningless.

I am not in depression, just tired. Ok, maybe mood swings popping up once in a very short while. And I mean mood swings, from "don't fucking piss me off again" to "ya.. kinda miss ya.." kinda swings. Gosh.... I really hate myself.

A Monkey Book and A Blinky Pen

Insomnia hits.... like nobody's biz.... it sucks.

I was up the whole night, I ransacked my own messy room, and voila! there it was... my journal.... in Chinese... HAHAHHAHAHA... I was pretty amazing I have to admit. hahaha.

So, an idea ran through my head. I have decided to walk ard with a notebook in my bag, so that I can pen down any thoughts or warped ideas I have of anything, anybody at that instant moment, before it slips away from my senile mind.

Today, right after work, I went straight to Borders and got myself a cute notebook and a pretty blinky pen. Yes yes.. call me bimbotic... but it sure brightens up my day. Now that the PDA is not with me anymore, I can't pen my thoughts down as and when...so this will be the next best alternative. As CJ will put it, penning thoughts is the best way of expression.

Showcasing my bimbotic buys.....

Summer Holidays and A New Start

Summer holidays. That was what Jun told me when I mentioned that I am breaking my own record, catching 3 movies in 2 weeks. Now, that number would be usually for 6 months more like it. Reason: It's movie season, summer holidays.

Caught 3 shows as mentioned. Pirates of the Caribbean, Ocean's 13 and Shrek 3, in that running order. I know many would beg to differ, but the only movie which my eyes didn't attempt to close on me was Pirates. I have heard bad reviews for this movie, mostly from peeps who already caught it in the theatres, but somehow or another, I thought it was most entertaining. And yes, I caught the first 2. To which, I also caught the first 2 for the other 2 shows. Hahahahaha... hey hey.. I am not a movie fanatic ok!! SUNDOWN...........................

Ocean's 13 was ok... I probably watched it at a timing which I should really be lying in my bed sleeping. But Shrek 3 was I would say, pointless, and nothing worth remembering. Yes, there were the usual mindless jokes and puns, but that's it. To think it was the movie I really wanted to catch. Such a disappointment.

Didn't come home yesterday night, was throwing my spoilt brat tantrum, cos my mum was doing it to us at home. Came home in the afternoon, slept the whole day away. Wanted to drop by St James for a couple of hours, but really couldn't even bear the thought of it. It was simply too tiring just thinking about it.

So many things have happened, but in the past week, nothing much. I guess I am really getting tired and taking things in a more natural course. After yesterday night, I have reached my limit. I tried my best and the line is reached. I will give up. I thought I will soften if circumstances put me in the spot, but now I know, I have really reached the line, even when I turn back, I don't see anything. That's where I will move on from......

Happy People

I got myself this set of dvds from my KL trip, a series called "Queer as Folk".

I kinda knew what this was about, and thought that it might be pretty interesting... so there it was, all packed into my luggage back home.

Ever since I came back from my trip, life has been tough. So tough that I only managed to take the time to start on the series. Well, it's basically a gay show. To be honest, I thought I would more tickled than emotional about this whole thing. I really don't mean to be showing any bias here, but what I saw in the show made me realise the actual fact that love and sex really transcends gender. It's all the same when it comes to it... erm... whichever "it" you would think it is. And hmmm... damn, these men are drop dead gorgeous!!! But they will never ever throw a glance in our way.... so ... One of the leads in the show actually had a baby, with a lesbian no doubt (lesbian couple needs a baby, maternal instincts are on the rage, not to mention TWO women!). The responsibilities, the emotional trauma, and all hee haws that are running through these 3 peoples' heads... I would think it would be mind baffling.

Now, that was 2 episodes for yesterday night. A few more discs to move on to. Not sure if I can pull through the night. It's wed.... it's only wednesday............