Who? Me?

It's the new year once again, making that unnoticeable step into 2009, taking stealth steps.

2008 didn't end with a bang, 2009 didn't start with a bang. Everything has become routine, a boring routine for everyone, with nothing to look forward to. Maybe the economic state of the world right now plays a part with "nothing to look forward to". hmm... my company announces our bonus and pays out in the new year, thus, this time round, it will be 2 fat zeros for 2009.

On a more personal note, I realised my life is changing. Slowly, but steadily.. I am no longer the fiery, outspoken, confrontational person I used to be. Well, you might think that it's a good sign. But no, I think it's a downward spiral towards losing myself, the person I recognised when I look into the mirror. Not sure what is in store for me, to make it worse, I am not interested in what lies ahead. HAHA... what a joke.

Everything I am doing now, and closing one eye to, is just a mere effort to make my life easier. What happened to those days when I fought for what I wanted in life? I think age and society has changed quite abit. Even the crowd we hang out with changes.

My new year resolution for 2009, to find back myself, but not to lose the good habits I have picked up along the way of losing myself. Contradictory? Ya... that's who I am, a walking contradiction.