Friday, July 07, 2006

She makes me happy..

"She makes me happy.."


Someone sent me a sms with this msg. We kinda bumped into him at our usual pub. Won't know whether to call it a pleasant surprise or a rude shock. I came to realise.. it was the former.


He was someone I used to "go out with".. abit of bad blood here and there.. unpleasantries were said.. but all's well.. he was with a girl. Initially, I thought the girl was one of his usual flings.. but after a while... it didn't seem that way. So I sent him a msg... "Hey.. your gf ah?"

His reply.. "maybe.."

And immediately after, another msg came in. "She makes me happy.."


Don't get me wrong peeps... no jealousy or watever occurring here. On hindsight, this is a thought provoking line. Made me think through many things in the shower again.

I am generally pretty void of emotions... Not that I am intentionally doing it.. but I seem to be incapable of feeling. My frens would know. This one liner is out of my league. IT IS VOID OF LOGIC AND RATIONALE.


This, coming out from a guy whom I would say had his fair share of girls... is epiphanic. Really. I feel for him. I feel really happy for him.


Just before all these thinking... me and Vic had a discussion. I told her I am real tired. I need someone to take charge and take care of me. I don't wish to think anymore. Somebody just do it!! By force or whichever way.. I don't care.. just take me under your care. Well, she said.. I just have to make a choice ... just to make that decision to decide .. to commit.. to one of them.

But now, its apparent that I don't want anyone of them. None of them is right.. at least for now. Cos if they are, there will be no chances for choices. I used to know this in me.. but somehow down the years.. I lost it.

I always believed that when you ask a person "eh.. why u like him ah?" if that person can give u answers like.. "oh.. he's cute, he's nice to me, he's got this and that bla bla bla.. " these are bullshit.


I BELIEVE I MAY HAVE FOUND A CONVINCING ANSWER TONIGHT. Yes... "He makes me happy.."

Just like how I told "L".. I am waiting for one day when I can say the same line as him... before I can.... please pray for me that I don't fall into the trap of convenience.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

its a simple and effective way of putting it.

but the converse (ie, she makes me unhappy therefore we shld break up) is not true because it takes alot more to hold a relationship together apart from sharing good times. every relationship has its ups and downs mah.

hope you find your Man soon. and pls choose wisely!

Ditzy Doll said...

I am TRYING to choose wisely. Then I decided. Best choice is not to choose any. HA!

Anonymous said...

precisely... if its jus like wad i said "all u haf to do is to make a choice", den smthg is obviously not right wen u r doing nuthing (especially when u are feeling like u need someone to take care of u) when it is soo easy....
;)

u noe very well not to let urself fall into that trap of convenience

Ditzy Doll said...

Hope u are right... ok lah .. now that u put it that way .. you are right lah .. haha!

Anonymous said...

yah man...doing nothing is the most convenient...haha

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